predicting the future

I once said to Miss C that some people only make an effort to say hello when they want something from you.
So far, it has proven to be true.

Is that me being cynical again or just me being perceptive?

whoa... a glitch in the matr...

oops, there I go again.

Somehow, it is impossible for to quote anything that Keanu Reeves has said in any film without it having "whoa..." attached to the beginning of it and yes, in my head, it also takes on a Ted "Theodore" Logan voice.

Anyways.

Lately, Miss C seems more eager than usual to say Hi.

Ok, I am always well, secondary to whatever plans she had for the day/night before buy still, it's nice that she's making some sort of effort.

But yes, on a cold and lonely Thursday night, I got a very unexpected message from her asking about Saturday.

Since I got back from HK, I've been rather blind to the news not having been in front of a telly or even having checked BBCnews at all so I was at a bit of a loss when she told me about the March that would be going on and Lo and Behold here they were when were looking for lunch.

and of course you don't have a march without a load of riot police...

things were looking good until we hit the full mob.

I was hoping that we'd be able to avoid because I foolishly assumed that any protest about government cuts would be directed towards the government and that they'd be heading towards Whitehall but nope, for some reason that I couldn't figure then, they were heading towards Oxford Circus.

Great.

After lunch and a brief wander we managed to hit the groups again except this was when the troubles were beginning to start. All around Oxford Circus we had spotted random RBS and HSBC having been attacked and just as we turned off back into Oxford Street, I noticed a plume of smoke rising from what looked like the centre of the Oxford Circus crossing.

Double great.

With that said and considering how big the march actually was, I think we did well in avoiding it for the most part. Admittedly, most of our time was spent sitting down eating a rather tasty burger and chatting.

Still not sure what I think of it all really.

I suppose I am equal parts surprised at how quickly things seem to happening on her end but at the same time, I can see why it would. I mean, if both parties are serious about it, as you would be, then of course it's natural to be looking towards the future and making plans and making moves towards achieving that plan. I mean, if you're not serious about the future then why start something now, right?

I think what bugs me more is that there is firstly a huge ten year gap from when we last spoke to the last time we said hi properly and then there was another one year gap from us having gone to Venice to us meeting up for lunch last time and in those long periods, so much has happened.

Any news then becomes sudden news to me but the reality is that it probably hasn't been sudden and I just didn't know about it happening... not that she needs to inform me of everything that happens.

Is it a closure thing?

I mean, the first time I was made aware of it was when our Barcelona plans fell through so that would've been October/November last year. It's now March/April so it's pretty much 6 months already so it isn't really new news to me.

I know I am still left wondering if I should've just asked her to come anyway; use it being a sort of "goodbye" as an excuse maybe.

But of course, I couldn't and I didn't.

As much as I would've liked to have had one last holiday with her somewhere, it wouldn't have been right; you can't really take someone else's girlfriend galavanting around somewhere. It's just not the done thing to do. I knew that then so why does it still bother me?

It does feel like I should have tried harder so is that what is bugging me about it?
Who knows?
Who cares?

In a way, I don't even care.

Mostly this is because of how long I've known her and in those many years not much has changed.

She is still pretty much who I remember and I am pretty sure I am still the same guy.

Maybe that's what bugs me.

Neither of us has changed in terms of who we are but it feels like she now realises I wasn't who she thought I was. Then there's that missing 10 years when we could've talked more and she could've joined our little trips to places.

I keep going back to that 10 year gap and it sounds like I'm blaming her for it but I'm not.

I know full well that I also play a part in not saying Hi. It'd be easy to say that I didn't think she wanted to say Hi and use that as an excuse to not bother but the reality is I was busy with other stuff/girls/work/hong kong myself. With that said, even that isn't an excuse really. I just didn't do it. It's that simple.

Sure I sent an occasional Hi via sms and maybe one or two emails but I never really asked if she fancied lunch when she was next in town and it wasn't as if she was never around. For the 5/6 six years that I was based in the office in Wood Green, she'd have been around there because of her ex but I never made the effort of seeing just how nearby she was.

Who is to blame for that?

What makes it worse now is that when she making an effort, she is at the same time moving along with that new guy and sooner or later, it'd start to feel mildly inappropriate again.

I think I had a point when I started this one but I seem to have gotten myself a little lost in what I wanted to say so to make up for it, here's a pic of the rather tasty burger I/we had.

Better than this was perhaps the very tasty fruit smoothie I had.

Melon, Strawberry, Mango, Apple juice base.

What made it very good was that when you drink it, you seem to taste each fruit in succession.

The first hit is of the melon, then you get a sharp strawberry followed by the apple. The mango was missing but the three other flavours coming one after the other was a joy.

Yum.

But alas, my planning did go a little awry with this place.

I saw online a decent looking sharing menu but failed to spot that it was their evening menu.

Maybe next time, whenever that may be.