small brushes for the finest details

The louder you are, the more you have to hide.
That's one of the things I learnt from Shakespeare.

"the lady doth protest too much"

Strangely enough though, it is also true that it is the smallest things you do that tell people the most about you and it is in the details of a person that you can learn the most.

Human behaviour is at heart, a simple thing to understand, the key point to remember is that we are all creatures of habit. We do things in a certain way because that is the way we have always done things and if we have a habit of doing something (anything) then chances are we will do it time and time again. In that respect, it is actually against human nature to truely change. A gambler will always gamble. An alcoholic will always want to drink. A lying cheat will always be a lying cheat.

Sound cynical?
Perhaps.
Perhaps not.

Take a look at the people around you. How many of them have you known have truely changed over the years? Conversely, how many have you seen do the same things over and over again? How about yourself? I know that I am a creature of incredible habit and most of habits are not good ones. I am very aware of the things that I can do and the things that I can't do. Of course, knowing these limits means I can exert some form of control over it. That doesn't mean I don't want to do those things. Hence, a recovered alcoholic is still an alcoholic; he just doesn't allow himself to drink. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to drink and that is probably why so many recovered alcoholics go to the other extreme of not drinking at all. Deep down we all know that we can't change, only control our "problems".

But what's the problem here?
After all, an alcoholic's problem is that he drinks too much, right? If he doesn't drink then doesn't that mean his problem is gone?
That's the bit I'm not convinced on.
Can you really remove the desire?
Does telling yourself everyday that you can't/won't/don't need to drink really changing the fact that you are addicted to alcohol? I mean, if you weren't an addict, you wouldn't need to remind yourself, no?

But let's not get too drawn into discussing alcoholism as that was just meant to be an example. The thing I wanted to point out is that there is a limit to what you can tell yourself and what you can tell others to convince yourself and them that you have changed. Beyond that point, it is your actions that reveal the truth.
If you're a cheat, your cheating will out you.
If you're a liar, your lies will out you.
There's no getting away from it.
Your only hope is that people don't find out but even if they don't, that doesn't change what you are.





Titled: 15th October 2008
Published: 30th June 2009