...fate steps in and sees me through.
Once in a while, I send a little random message to which I occasionally get a reply. This time, I got a reply and brief chat and a lunch meeting arranged. I also got a little bit of news that I'm not sure if I'm happy about but that's not much to do with me so that's all I say about that. What I really am happy about is that there seems to be a new air of chirpiness about her; something that reminds me of what she was like what is now more than ten years ago.
The main thing there is that number.
Ten.
Ten years.
A period so long, it has it's own name ; a Decade.
Time does fly and as both of us sat there pondering how neither of us have really progressed a little something crept into my mind. Before you go and make guesses, it wasn't about her. Well, it is about a her, just not this one.
Earlier that day, a different her had left a message on my regularly left on MSN which has now left me thinking.
I really screwed things up with Little Miss C.
We were friends and I let something really stupid ruin our admittedly odd friendship. Fast forward eight years and it appears that I have done it again.
Can I live with that?
Maybe this is one of those moments when I have to face the dangers and do something about it. I think about it sometimes and well, I don't want it to be another 10 years before that other her talks to me properly again.
I short, I miss her.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
And now for something current...
...surely they don't think they're all idiots.
Everyone who has paid for their Michael Jackson tickets would've been given those "Souvenir" tickets as part of their package for the event, no? And now they're asking people if they would forgo their refund and just take that ticket instead?
People, demand your refund AND the ticket.
Everyone who has paid for their Michael Jackson tickets would've been given those "Souvenir" tickets as part of their package for the event, no? And now they're asking people if they would forgo their refund and just take that ticket instead?
People, demand your refund AND the ticket.
And now for something new for a change
After two posts from the archives something small, frivoulous but importantly, new.
It isn't much but what the hey.
DM: Florence, June 2009
DM: Florence, June 2009
DM: Florence, June 2009
DM: Florence, June 2009
Maybe I'll have a new set come October time...
A bit premature but Me+C Lost in Venice?
It isn't much but what the hey.
DM: Florence, June 2009
DM: Florence, June 2009
DM: Florence, June 2009
DM: Florence, June 2009
Maybe I'll have a new set come October time...
A bit premature but Me+C Lost in Venice?
desert island lists...
Once in a while, I ask myself why I write here and more often than not, I have no answer. Ok.... I do have an answer but it is an answer that I don't like so I'll come to that one last. That does mean I also have other answers, some of which I do like that I'll expand on a little later.
So why the question?
It's to do with time/energy/effort/worth and by of examining what I write about and maybe seeing if this is, like my other hobbies, largely pointless.
I guess the first question I have to ask, as I have alluded to, is simply this:
What is the point of this Weblog?
It isn't that I have anything particulary profound that I feel I need to share with the world, nor is it even widely publicised so my readership is at most two and a half people so even if I felt that I had a great message, it isn't one that I want people to read about. Of course, me knowing me, that is probably down to my unspoken fear of being literally shot down. In my head, I'd like to believe that what I type here is of some worth but of course, I also know that because most of what I type here is a response to something, be it an article I read somewhere or something someone has said or done, there is always going to be a bias to it and hence, not 100% true.
So is that it?
Is this my sounding board?
My diary in the world of Web 2.0?
Dunno.
What I do know is what I don't want it to be.
Let's get this bit over with.
I am not Emo/Goth/Whatever the latest black clad trend is.
I do not have a need to share my self absorbed agony, misery, sadness or whatever with the world. I know the world is not out to get me and that it isn't that they don't understand me, it is that I don't understand the world.
Besides, that is the sort of thing you do when you're 15-18; when you belive your life to be like that you see on the TV on whatever American teen angst drama is currently the It thing. In my day, it was Dawson's Creek; a show about a self obsessed, self absorbed, arse of a guy who does things that pleases himself whilst rationalising his selfish ways, all to a soundtrack of Damien Rice.
Sound familiar?
Well, that aint me.
I also don't want this to turn into a list.
Today I did this... Then I did that... Later I went there... Blah.
What's the point?
80% (random percentage courtesy of my head) of our lives is routine and nothing really changes. Even on the off chance that something really peculiar happens, that something is at best a 5 line job. If all you do is list the events of your day, my question to you is why does it need to be in a public forum such as a blog? Well, perhaps you don't intend it to be read by anyone, much like how I don't expect people to read this blog but still, on the off chance that someone does happen across your blog, do you really want them know what time you got up and how long it took you to get to work in the rain?
So what is this?
I'd like to think that I am slightly above average.
I know I'm pretty handy with a pen, pencil and paintbrush. I know I'm not too shabby behind a lens and these days, I aint that bad of a designer. In my spare time, I also do a little bit of writing of things that I'm too embarassed to show people and as a result is in a perpetual state of editing.
So perhaps this is the ideal forum for me to showcase the things that I do?
Maybe I should.
Occasionally, I do post some of them but not in the way that I should.
I have always been more interested in the process of things, of how things work and how things are done so perhaps that is the way to go. Maybe what I should do is make a point of recording every major stage of making something and you know what, I do kinda want to do this sort of thing; just not sure if it should be here though.
Would it work well interwoven with the random rubbish that I type?
Perhaps not.
Until I have something to show in this manner, I don't have to decide so maybe one day I'll have a new link to show you (whoever you are).
I try to read a lot and I try to read widely.
I try to keep up with what is going on around the world and occasionally, for one reason or another, something stirs in me to respond.
But what's the worth of that?
Not much really but then again, I have always said that I write here mainly for me to look back on later, to either laugh with or laugh at. So perhaps that what this really is; an attempt to give a fair representation what makes me tick. To that end I have always tried to be as honest as I can be here and when I have an audience of one (i.e me) I have no need to lie to myself unless I really want to but even then, well, it's not as if I won't know/remember that I lied.
There have been moments when I have spent hours tweeking and re-editing posts until I am finally happy to hit that publish button but that wasn't really to hide things; it was to make sure that there was no possibility of being mistaken and well, sometimes I had to generalise somethings for the sake of keeping people's names out of it....
For the sake of making myself understood I have also occasionally written about certain philosophies I hold dear. I hope that by discussing how I perceive things, your perception of me would be clearer. I will admit to a certain level of egotistical mental masturbation going on as well but I hope that the tongue in cheek nature of intellectual name dropping doesn't go un-noticed.
So what's the point of this post in the context of what has been typed above?
Right now, sitting here on my slightly lop-sided office chair, drinking my slightly colder than it should be tea, I am, in my head, finishing up a version 1.0 of a sort of mission statement for this blog.
I am feeling a new found desire to do more things in light of the current global self destruct sequence and perhaps more realistically, I am re-energised after seeing someone that I do still hold dear to my heart.
Titled: 25th October 2008
Published: 30th June 2009
So why the question?
It's to do with time/energy/effort/worth and by of examining what I write about and maybe seeing if this is, like my other hobbies, largely pointless.
I guess the first question I have to ask, as I have alluded to, is simply this:
What is the point of this Weblog?
It isn't that I have anything particulary profound that I feel I need to share with the world, nor is it even widely publicised so my readership is at most two and a half people so even if I felt that I had a great message, it isn't one that I want people to read about. Of course, me knowing me, that is probably down to my unspoken fear of being literally shot down. In my head, I'd like to believe that what I type here is of some worth but of course, I also know that because most of what I type here is a response to something, be it an article I read somewhere or something someone has said or done, there is always going to be a bias to it and hence, not 100% true.
So is that it?
Is this my sounding board?
My diary in the world of Web 2.0?
Dunno.
What I do know is what I don't want it to be.
Let's get this bit over with.
I am not Emo/Goth/Whatever the latest black clad trend is.
I do not have a need to share my self absorbed agony, misery, sadness or whatever with the world. I know the world is not out to get me and that it isn't that they don't understand me, it is that I don't understand the world.
Besides, that is the sort of thing you do when you're 15-18; when you belive your life to be like that you see on the TV on whatever American teen angst drama is currently the It thing. In my day, it was Dawson's Creek; a show about a self obsessed, self absorbed, arse of a guy who does things that pleases himself whilst rationalising his selfish ways, all to a soundtrack of Damien Rice.
Sound familiar?
Well, that aint me.
I also don't want this to turn into a list.
Today I did this... Then I did that... Later I went there... Blah.
What's the point?
80% (random percentage courtesy of my head) of our lives is routine and nothing really changes. Even on the off chance that something really peculiar happens, that something is at best a 5 line job. If all you do is list the events of your day, my question to you is why does it need to be in a public forum such as a blog? Well, perhaps you don't intend it to be read by anyone, much like how I don't expect people to read this blog but still, on the off chance that someone does happen across your blog, do you really want them know what time you got up and how long it took you to get to work in the rain?
So what is this?
I'd like to think that I am slightly above average.
I know I'm pretty handy with a pen, pencil and paintbrush. I know I'm not too shabby behind a lens and these days, I aint that bad of a designer. In my spare time, I also do a little bit of writing of things that I'm too embarassed to show people and as a result is in a perpetual state of editing.
So perhaps this is the ideal forum for me to showcase the things that I do?
Maybe I should.
Occasionally, I do post some of them but not in the way that I should.
I have always been more interested in the process of things, of how things work and how things are done so perhaps that is the way to go. Maybe what I should do is make a point of recording every major stage of making something and you know what, I do kinda want to do this sort of thing; just not sure if it should be here though.
Would it work well interwoven with the random rubbish that I type?
Perhaps not.
Until I have something to show in this manner, I don't have to decide so maybe one day I'll have a new link to show you (whoever you are).
I try to read a lot and I try to read widely.
I try to keep up with what is going on around the world and occasionally, for one reason or another, something stirs in me to respond.
But what's the worth of that?
Not much really but then again, I have always said that I write here mainly for me to look back on later, to either laugh with or laugh at. So perhaps that what this really is; an attempt to give a fair representation what makes me tick. To that end I have always tried to be as honest as I can be here and when I have an audience of one (i.e me) I have no need to lie to myself unless I really want to but even then, well, it's not as if I won't know/remember that I lied.
There have been moments when I have spent hours tweeking and re-editing posts until I am finally happy to hit that publish button but that wasn't really to hide things; it was to make sure that there was no possibility of being mistaken and well, sometimes I had to generalise somethings for the sake of keeping people's names out of it....
For the sake of making myself understood I have also occasionally written about certain philosophies I hold dear. I hope that by discussing how I perceive things, your perception of me would be clearer. I will admit to a certain level of egotistical mental masturbation going on as well but I hope that the tongue in cheek nature of intellectual name dropping doesn't go un-noticed.
So what's the point of this post in the context of what has been typed above?
Right now, sitting here on my slightly lop-sided office chair, drinking my slightly colder than it should be tea, I am, in my head, finishing up a version 1.0 of a sort of mission statement for this blog.
I am feeling a new found desire to do more things in light of the current global self destruct sequence and perhaps more realistically, I am re-energised after seeing someone that I do still hold dear to my heart.
Titled: 25th October 2008
Published: 30th June 2009
small brushes for the finest details
The louder you are, the more you have to hide.
That's one of the things I learnt from Shakespeare.
"the lady doth protest too much"
Strangely enough though, it is also true that it is the smallest things you do that tell people the most about you and it is in the details of a person that you can learn the most.
Human behaviour is at heart, a simple thing to understand, the key point to remember is that we are all creatures of habit. We do things in a certain way because that is the way we have always done things and if we have a habit of doing something (anything) then chances are we will do it time and time again. In that respect, it is actually against human nature to truely change. A gambler will always gamble. An alcoholic will always want to drink. A lying cheat will always be a lying cheat.
Sound cynical?
Perhaps.
Perhaps not.
Take a look at the people around you. How many of them have you known have truely changed over the years? Conversely, how many have you seen do the same things over and over again? How about yourself? I know that I am a creature of incredible habit and most of habits are not good ones. I am very aware of the things that I can do and the things that I can't do. Of course, knowing these limits means I can exert some form of control over it. That doesn't mean I don't want to do those things. Hence, a recovered alcoholic is still an alcoholic; he just doesn't allow himself to drink. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to drink and that is probably why so many recovered alcoholics go to the other extreme of not drinking at all. Deep down we all know that we can't change, only control our "problems".
But what's the problem here?
After all, an alcoholic's problem is that he drinks too much, right? If he doesn't drink then doesn't that mean his problem is gone?
That's the bit I'm not convinced on.
Can you really remove the desire?
Does telling yourself everyday that you can't/won't/don't need to drink really changing the fact that you are addicted to alcohol? I mean, if you weren't an addict, you wouldn't need to remind yourself, no?
But let's not get too drawn into discussing alcoholism as that was just meant to be an example. The thing I wanted to point out is that there is a limit to what you can tell yourself and what you can tell others to convince yourself and them that you have changed. Beyond that point, it is your actions that reveal the truth.
If you're a cheat, your cheating will out you.
If you're a liar, your lies will out you.
There's no getting away from it.
Your only hope is that people don't find out but even if they don't, that doesn't change what you are.
Titled: 15th October 2008
Published: 30th June 2009
That's one of the things I learnt from Shakespeare.
"the lady doth protest too much"
Strangely enough though, it is also true that it is the smallest things you do that tell people the most about you and it is in the details of a person that you can learn the most.
Human behaviour is at heart, a simple thing to understand, the key point to remember is that we are all creatures of habit. We do things in a certain way because that is the way we have always done things and if we have a habit of doing something (anything) then chances are we will do it time and time again. In that respect, it is actually against human nature to truely change. A gambler will always gamble. An alcoholic will always want to drink. A lying cheat will always be a lying cheat.
Sound cynical?
Perhaps.
Perhaps not.
Take a look at the people around you. How many of them have you known have truely changed over the years? Conversely, how many have you seen do the same things over and over again? How about yourself? I know that I am a creature of incredible habit and most of habits are not good ones. I am very aware of the things that I can do and the things that I can't do. Of course, knowing these limits means I can exert some form of control over it. That doesn't mean I don't want to do those things. Hence, a recovered alcoholic is still an alcoholic; he just doesn't allow himself to drink. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to drink and that is probably why so many recovered alcoholics go to the other extreme of not drinking at all. Deep down we all know that we can't change, only control our "problems".
But what's the problem here?
After all, an alcoholic's problem is that he drinks too much, right? If he doesn't drink then doesn't that mean his problem is gone?
That's the bit I'm not convinced on.
Can you really remove the desire?
Does telling yourself everyday that you can't/won't/don't need to drink really changing the fact that you are addicted to alcohol? I mean, if you weren't an addict, you wouldn't need to remind yourself, no?
But let's not get too drawn into discussing alcoholism as that was just meant to be an example. The thing I wanted to point out is that there is a limit to what you can tell yourself and what you can tell others to convince yourself and them that you have changed. Beyond that point, it is your actions that reveal the truth.
If you're a cheat, your cheating will out you.
If you're a liar, your lies will out you.
There's no getting away from it.
Your only hope is that people don't find out but even if they don't, that doesn't change what you are.
Titled: 15th October 2008
Published: 30th June 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sun Days Out
After an all too long period, that gal and I finally got around to a much belated lunch meet.
Not much to say really except; is it me or has the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy shrunk? It also seems to have well, no skirting around it, lowered its standards somewhat...
On a plus side, there is now a proper Architecture room instead of having random Architecture exhibits dotted around thematically.
Alas, I am never sure of the camera policy so no pics of some of the few gems in the show. What I did take pictures of were some little sights in London but the impending rain that never fully developed made me wary of getting the cameras out too often.
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to meet around Picadilly; at least that was where I suggested whereas the reality was I meant by Eros, where everyone sits. To make matters worse, there was some sort of Hari Krishna procession going through so there were extra people out in the area taking photos and videos. While everyone was looking at the All Singing and All Dancing I took a quick snap of the little cherub. As much as I am not one for the twee, well once in a while, you have to really, don't you?
I took another shot from the other side later but alas, too much backlight and the sky wasn't dramatic enough behind it to make it worthy of anything.
A few steps away in a little yard was this unexpected little thing.
Living here, you do sometimes forget that London is also one of the world's great capitals and it is a shame that we who have such easy access to it don't take the time to explore it as we would in a foreign city. Seeing as the weather is right for this sort of thing and well, armed with two cameras and a decent set of filters, I am left with the question of "why not?".
As the comic books liked to say in the 90s, watch this space.
Not much to say really except; is it me or has the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy shrunk? It also seems to have well, no skirting around it, lowered its standards somewhat...
On a plus side, there is now a proper Architecture room instead of having random Architecture exhibits dotted around thematically.
Alas, I am never sure of the camera policy so no pics of some of the few gems in the show. What I did take pictures of were some little sights in London but the impending rain that never fully developed made me wary of getting the cameras out too often.
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to meet around Picadilly; at least that was where I suggested whereas the reality was I meant by Eros, where everyone sits. To make matters worse, there was some sort of Hari Krishna procession going through so there were extra people out in the area taking photos and videos. While everyone was looking at the All Singing and All Dancing I took a quick snap of the little cherub. As much as I am not one for the twee, well once in a while, you have to really, don't you?
I took another shot from the other side later but alas, too much backlight and the sky wasn't dramatic enough behind it to make it worthy of anything.
A few steps away in a little yard was this unexpected little thing.
Living here, you do sometimes forget that London is also one of the world's great capitals and it is a shame that we who have such easy access to it don't take the time to explore it as we would in a foreign city. Seeing as the weather is right for this sort of thing and well, armed with two cameras and a decent set of filters, I am left with the question of "why not?".
As the comic books liked to say in the 90s, watch this space.
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