changing socks

How obsessed are you?

Me?
I'm a Grade One, Premium, Top of the Line Obsessive and almost compulsive collector of things. If I like something, it will stick in my mind and pester me until the day I die. For that reason, I have learnt to maintain a distance from everything I come into contact with or at the very least, learnt feign disinterest but still, the few things that do interest me have always been things that I spend way too much time and money on.

I guess "collector" is a very apt word to describe my traits as I have cupboards full of car related stuff and lord alone knows how much model making junk but despite my weakness, I am at the same time a bit too practical take this to the extreme where I have absolutely no control. I'd like to say that I know when enough is enough because well, that would suggest that I am not an idiot.

You could say that this automatically disqualifies me from being being obsessive compulsive and I'm inclined to agree with you. It doesn't discount that whatever you want to to call me, I am without doubt, someone who falls under the catagory of "addictive personality".

I think that everyone is really.
We all should have something that defines who we are; something that plays such an integral part in our lives that if it were gone, a very big part of us is gone. For me, it is quite simply the basic act of scribbling. I used to say it was drawing but lately, I've found myself doing more than just drawing, instead making up things with words instead of lines and just making things that might be legible and comprehensib;e text or just marks on paper that look like it might be words. I know that most of this is probably just an extension with my drawing fetish but at the same time, I can't help but think that maybe this is a purer expression of my "passion"; I like to make things.

I mentioned the idea of a blank piece of paper in an earlier post and I'd like to go back to this.
Just like Malevich's Black Square, a blank piece of paper is the theoretical Zero Point of creating something. From this anything is possible and every possiblity is down to your interections with that that blank surface. If you are so inclined, you can even alter that surface to make it something more than a flat piece of paper. What you put on that piece of paper is going to depend on your influences and interests. For some it will be a drawing in the traditional sense; marks that represent something. Moving on slightly, those marks don't have to represent anythign and it is just a drawing of something random; it doesn't matter because it is still the act of drawing. For some, it will be words that they put down on paper; words to tell a story, to express or create a feeling or to challenge a thought. For some this might be lines and symbols; be it maths, physics, music, it will be something that is, like words, a language used to express or explain something.

What tangent is this I have wandered off onto?
I have no idea as this wasn't even what I was intending to write about so I'll stop here and move on.....

Obsessions/Passions.
What I typed above is a brief introduction to what I think is the most important part of my being. If you erase it from my life, you really do erase a big chunk of my life. So what is your passion?

I have a friend who doesn't know what she wants to do after her study.
She's currently studying (and nearly ccompleting) her degree in Physics but she has said that she is certain that she won't be persuing any sort of career in it. In fact, she has even more or less said that she's doing it as a her degree because well, without sounding to arrogant, she can. Part of this is certainly down to it being because she is a smart cookie and she can do whatever she sets her mind to doing. The fact that she is forcing her way through a physics degree is testament to her abilities but what does that say about her future? She's is clever enough to be able to do anything academically but because of the ease that things has been, she's never really found the one thing that is important to her as a being. There isn't anything that, if you take away, changes who she is. At least she couldn't think of it. Well, shoes don't count, does it?

So are these things normal then?
I said that I thought everyone has something like this but every now and then, I am reminded of how many people aren't really doing what they want to be doing. There's also the fact that I am aware that lots of people have described me as being a bit obssessed with "things" so perhaps I am just a freak. Or maybe I'm lucky that my obsession is something that I can do without much external interference or without it affecting my life (beyond me disappearing for a week or two while I'm busy painting something...).
I guess the question is; is it healthy?
In all honesty, I have to say no.
There are times when I know I should be doing work but I'm pissing about with a drawing/painting/model but's normal, no? We all do things that we shouldn't, especially when work is the alternative. The point is to just control yourself and don't take it too far. After all Passion does not equal Obsession.

So again and to rephrase the opening;
What is your passion?

Honest answers please and think about what it says about you?

note: this has taken a huge tangent and the title now has no real relevence to what I've eventually written so expect a part 2.

Titled: 23rd November 2007
Published: 8th December 2007