...projections part 1

How do you see me?

I have been called many things in my life, some good, some not so good. Some names are deserved and some are naturally not but this isn't about me so that's enough of that.

So what is this about then?
Well, this something that relates back to what is quickly turning into an obssession with being honest to ones self. As Bruce Lee had famously said; Honestly Expressing Yourself. It's also quite handy that this takes on the form of those little questions that I so like to ask.

So once again, How do you see me?

See the slight difference?

Everyone judges.
That is the simple truth and those that say they do not are lying.
That's not the point here though so let's get past that and move into what I want to concerntrate on. As I said, everyone judges and according to the proverbial press, everyone does it and completes their judgement within the first 5 mins of meeting someone. So what does that mean?


Obviously I'm not daft enough to believe that the original judgement isn't open to change as people get to know each other but to what extent does this affect things in the long term? Again, I know that this is something that is determined by each each individual and each case but still, you cannot deny that it does ultimately play a part in how you are perceived.

I think perhaps the more interesting thing here isn't how you perceive me but rather why you do so in that manner? In other words, how honest are your percepetions of me? In relation to the discussion, how much of what you see in me, is a reflection of how you see yourself?

In a way, this still the same thing as I was talking about last time about your personal image that you like to project (or did I imagined I'd written that one too?). If you want to be someone who is caring, gentle and kind then naturally, you will see more of the uncaring, ungentle and unkind in others as a result of your wanting or even needing something to validate your desired image.
"oh look, what a bastard he is..."

This in itself opens up more questions for you.
Why do you want to have that image?
What does that say about you?
Do you really know the people around you if you are projecting your own afflictions on them?
The one that matters most to me is this: Why the need?

Let's be honest here.
How often do we really appreciate the things and people around us?
What do we spend more time doing; complaining about others or praising others?

Personally, I am not very good with praises or celebrations. For the most part I find them fake, shallow and generally lacking. That might just be me and the people I know. It could just be that I have high expectations of things and well, having been bitterly disappointed before, I know not to expect too much. Hey, how's that for an example of me projecting myself onto things? And's that's more or less it. I don't expect anything from anyone and I don't mean that in a bad way. It's not I see it is everyone is a selfish bastard; it's just that I don't expect things in a way that has nothing to do with people or individuals. Ok, that's not entirely clear but I don't know how else to explain it.

In the case of people, I don't expect them to be nice, or happy, or bad, or mean. I just tend to take it as it is at that moment. That is how I like to do things. If you say something stupid, then for that moment, you are stupid and I will treat you as that moment deems fit and that is generally how my world works. I have no-preconceived ideas of what you are like because I know that in all probability, I have little clue as to what you are really like and more importantly, what you were like or what you are like sometimes isn't always relevent to the now.

In a way, that is one of the reasons I can't stand people who make grand statements. They take a moment to proclaim something and in most cases, those proclaimations don't match their past or their present actions. They abuse the single moment and end up justifying themselves in these statements that aren't truely honest.

You can stand up and point fingers and say this, this and this about that, that and that but what does it mean if all it was for, was to massage your ego?
Perhaps what you need to do is to get of that stand and take a look at yourself.
Are you honestly describing those people or are you seeing what you want to see?


published date:24th November 2007